How Do I Handle Writer’s Block? One word: snowmobile

I hate writer’s block. It’s a frequent visitor to my head. And it sucks.

I’ve been wondering lately about what causes writer’s block. It seems like there’s a constant stream of potential blog posts swimming around my head at all times. So much so that I often have to tell my brain to shut up so I can focus on the task at hand. (By the way, do you have any idea how weird it feels to tell yourself to shut up?) So I hurry through those Tasks At Hand so I can get to the computer and write this stuff down. I get my writing music going. I tell The Cat to shut up. (There’s a lot of shutting up required in my writing process.) And then…

…nothing.

It’s like I’ve totally forgotten how to write. 

When I worked in my previous careers, I feel like I had ideas all the time. But I didn’t have time to write it all down, because I was busy doing my job.

I did discover, however, something that almost always helped me get unstuck —- being in motion.

I can’t even tell you how many times I’d spend the whole day frustrated, not being able to solve a problem I’d been working on. Then I’d get in the car to go home and after a few minutes of cruising along with my driving music, BAM! The answer would be there. And then I’d call my office and leave a voice mail message for myself so I could remember whatever brilliant idea I’d just come up with. (Let me tell you, it’s kinda trippy going to work the next day having forgotten about said voice mail and then HEARING A MESSAGE FROM PAST YOU. But it got the job done.)

I guess I could get up off the couch and go driving right now. Except I hate driving. And it’s currently snowing, which I also hate. (Can you tell I’m grumpy today?)

So I think what I need, my friends, is a personal Motion Motivator.

What is this person’s role, you ask? He or she would be responsible for finding creative ways to keep me moving so that ideas will keep coming to my head. And then when the ideas come, my Motion Motivator will take notes. So basically the MM is a combined secretary and personal trainer. Really, who doesn’t need both of those?

Imagine with me what this would be like. Let’s say I hired a Motion Motivator named Heinrich. It’s another snowy Wednesday, and I’m staring at my computer trying to come up with something. My brain cells are rapidly going into a coma, and I can feel myself getting dumber as I scroll through the interwebs looking for ideas but actually getting distracted by an endless parade of clickbait articles promising to tell me 28 dark secrets about the common rutabaga that the agriculture industry DOESN’T WANT YOU TO KNOW.

“Come on, Amy,” Heinrich will say. “Get off the couch. You need to move.”

“But Heinrich!” I’ll whine. “I was just about to find out the 28 dark secrets about the common rutabaga that the agriculture industry doesn’t want me to know!”

“That is the dumbest clickbait nonsense I have ever heard,” he’ll say. “Now let’s go. I’ve readied the snowmobile.”

And so Heinrich will drive through the not-so-rugged terrain of the suburban winter wonderland, while I remain secure in the heated, covered sidecar. with a surround sound stereo system. (It’s my imagination. I say snowmobiles have luxury side cars.) We’re dashing through the snow, leaving an endless parade of confused onlookers behind us, wondering why there are two weird people driving through the neighborhood on a snowmobile with obscure techno music on full blast. Then suddenly…

“I’ve got it!” I’ll yell. “A blog post idea! I could write about the great rutabaga conspiracy. It would be hilarious. Write that down!”

And Heinrich would tell whatever smart device he uses to write all that down. And then I could crank out a blog post, and life would be grand.

“But Amy,” you say. “Couldn’t you just get your own smart device to take down notes?”

I guess. But the idea of having a secretary who does all that stuff for me while forcing me to get up and move sounds more fun. Plus as previously mentioned, if I wait to write stuff down myself, that gives the idea enough time to fly out of my head. Nope. I need Heinrich. Think of all the things I could do if I actually had a Motion Motivator…

…take an aerobics class. (“I’ve got it! A self-driving car whose sole purpose is to fetch me chocolate. Write that down!”)

…relive my childhood at a roller skating rink. (“We need a team of highly trained cat ninjas to patrol the neighborhood!”)

I can only imagine what sort of creative genius I could unleash if I had Heinrich while visiting my beloved Cedar Point. I could get a minimum 3 blog posts out of every roller coaster ride.

In summary, here are the key points to remember from this week’s blog:

• Moving helps me come up with stuff.
• So don’t be surprised if you see me running around trying desparately to get my creative juices going.
• Writer’s block is awful.

So yeah…I’m a little off my game this week. Sorry about that. I promise I’ll have something better next time. For now, I really truly need to go to the gym. I’ve been slacking this week and that’s probably responsible for my exhaustion and brain fog. I’ll get up in a second. I’ve gotta finish reading about all these rutabaga recipes.