Don’t extend an olive branch. Try aisle seats instead.

When I got married, one of the bits of advice I received was to be prepared to compromise. The Husband and I were both in our thirties when we tied the knot, so we had many years of experience with Doing Our Own Thing. We have the added benefit of both being stubborn, which made us even more proficient in Doing Our Own Thing *OUR* Way. So I was prepared to do a hell of a lot of negotiating.

To our pleasant surprise, we found ourselves easily adapting to living together. Our Own Ways synced up nicely. There is, however, one notable exception: travel. Especially air travel.

We recently returned from spending a week out west with his family. Our different opinions on The Right Way To Travel once again clashed, resulting in me stress eating airplane pretzels and ranting about my frustrations while he nodded off. (The Husband *always* nods off when he sits for more than two minutes. Or if the lights are off for more than two seconds. Or if he’s standing still. Or if he’s not talking. Basically, The Husband can and will fall asleep anytime, anywhere if he’s not actively engaged in some task. Nothing elicits a stronger love/hate response in me than his ability to easily sleep.)

“Husband!” I yell, smacking his arm to wake him up, pretzel dust spewing from my angry mouth. “Wake up! I’ve got a blog idea.”

“Mmmkay,” he says (which translates to “okay”).

“I think I could write about how we have different approaches to travel,” I said.

“Mmmkay,” he says (which in this context translates to “that sounds good”).

“Like how we have different ideas of when to get to the airport” I suggested.

“Mmmkay” he says (translation: “That works. What else are you thinking?”)

“Or I could talk about how you always want to sit down in the terminal and I want to go walking,” I continued.

“Mmmkay,” he says (translation: “I feel another nap coming on”).

“DON’T YOU DARE FALL ASLEEP AGAIN!” I said, taking another swig of Dr. Pepper to keep myself awake and the creative juices flowing.

So while The Husband took another nap, I started thinking of all the ways we differ in our travel philosophies as well as brainstorming potential compromises. Here, in no particular order, is my list thus far:

THE TOPIC: When to arrive at the airport

MY THOUGHT: I must arrive at the airport a minimum of two hours before the flight is scheduled to take off to allow ample time for obtaining boarding passes, checking bags, going through security, getting frisked by the TSA due to my suspiciously puffy ankles (seriously, they frisk my ankles EVERY FRIGGIN’ TIME), getting a drink to calm my rage after the ankle frisking, walking off the rage, going to the bathroom on a real toilet before being trapped on the plane, walking some more, taking drammamine so I can read on the plane without throwing up from motion sickness, going to the bathroom again because I really really want to avoid using the bathroom in the air, getting another drink so I don’t get thirsty on the plane before the beverage cart arrives, and grumbling about the flight delay. (My flights are ALWAYS delayed.)

HIS THOUGHT: Arrive at the airport as close to the flight time as possible so as not to be bored waiting for the plane. Do stretches beforehand to be ready for any sprinting through the airport that may be necessary to make said flight.

A REASONABLE COMPROMISE: Arrive at the airport an hour early. Submit X-ray images of my ankles to the TSA ahead of time showing there is nothing sketchy about them. Convince an airport official that we need a VIP golf cart ride to the gate. Sprint from the golf cart to line up so he can have his last minute sprint and I can have more time to stand there and gripe about delays (and gripe about being winded from sprinting).

THE TOPIC: WHAT TO DO UPON CLEARING SECURITY

MY THOUGHT: I must walk. I must walk endless laps through the terminal before I sit for hours on a plane and lose all feeling in my glorious butt. I must walk like crazy so I can burn calories and make room for airplane peanuts and pretzels (or if I’m lucky airplane crackers). I. MUST. WALK!

HIS THOUGHT: I must park my glorious butt on a seat so I can take a nap before my in-flight nap.

A REASONABLE COMPROMISE: The Husband can park his butt on a suitcase with wheels and have his pre-flight nap while I pull around said suitcase to get my steps in. Though we usually don’t bring carry on luggage with wheels, so this compromise might not work. Perhaps The Husband could invest in roller shoes and I could just drag him along. I am confident he could still sleep through it.

THE TOPIC: HOW TO PICK A SEAT ON THE PLANE

MY THOUGHT: I need an aisle seat so I can spring up immediately upon landing and push my way through the herd to get off the plane immediately. Also I need to be able to get to the bathroom quickly and easily, because after having ten million pre-flight beverages, I’ve gotta go! And I need to be as close to the front of the plane as possible.

HIS THOUGHT: Sitting close to the front is good. But sometimes I need the aisle seat. Amy can handle the middle seat.

A REASONABLE COMPROMISE: Give me the aisle seat every time, Husband. I need it. That is all.

So there you have it, friends. Now you know some of our travel challenges. Hopefully by demonstrating how to come up with reasonable compromises I’ve given you ideas on how to compromise in your own relationships. It really is an amazing and beautiful thing when two people can reach common ground. It’s almost as amazing as always getting the aisle seat.

Seriously…don’t mess with my seat.