The key to wealth? Cat videos.

Survey time, friends. Who here could use some extra cash? 

For the record, I am not currently offering extra cash. Sorry. That was probably a misleading way to start a post. But seriously, we could all use some bonus dough, right? Especially since it’s that magical time of year where we all try to prove how deeply we care about each other by braving the herds of crazed shopaholic maniacs to obtain expensive crap for others. 

So the other day I stumbled upon an article that seemed to have the answers. What’s the ticket to getting extra money, you ask? Is it leggings? Tupperware? Skin care? I would have expected any of those answers given the things that pop up on my news feed. 

No, my friends. The answer is to be a 7 year old opening gifts. 

The article was a list of top earning YouTube stars. 

Now I’m not surprised that there are people out there making money from YouTube. Especially given all the ads preceding every video I want to watch. Lately they’ve been putting ads in the middle of videos too. I go on YouTube primarily to listen to music — I’ve got my techno jams going as I type this post — so it’s really frustrating to have a commercial interrupt me as I’m belting out some tunes. No, YouTube, I do not need teeth whitening strips right this second. I need to jam! 

But I was surprised at JUST HOW MUCH these top stars are making. One of the top earners has a channel devoted to him playing with toys. That’s it. He’s a 7 year old boy who opens gifts, plays with them, and gives his commentary. 

Now, kids are cute. Kids opening presents are really cute. I enjoy watching my nieces and nephews get excited about their toys. But I don’t know that I feel the need to watch some kid I don’t know play with toys. 

Apparently he likes being watched, because he’s cranking out them videos and…

…are you ready for this…

he makes 22 MILLION from said videos. 

A SEVEN YEAR OLD IS A MULTI MILLIONAIRE BECAUSE SOMEONE FILMED HIM PLAYING WITH TOYS. 

Okay, so maybe I can understand that a little. Kids are cute, and they say cute stuff. I guess I could kinda see how he’d have a lot of fans. 

But then I looked at the rest of the list. Mind you, this kid was not THE top earner. Meaning there are people whose channels earn EVEN MORE MONEY. What do they do, you ask? Well, they were all grown ups, so no cute kid factor. The other big earning channels were mostly makeup tips and watching people play video games. 

I’m starting to wonder if I’m just doing life wrong. I poured thousands of dollars into getting degrees — first a Bachelor’s, then a Master’s. Then I got a social work license which costs money to maintain. Now, I am earning money from those endeavors. But it’s nowhere close to kid playing with toys on YouTube money. It’s more like paying a bill money. Not all the bills. Just one. The Husband’s income covers the rest. 

So now I’m wondering if I need to get a YouTube channel. It’s something I’ve thought about. I assumed, however, that I wouldn’t have anything interesting enough to film. After reading this article, though, it’s obvious I was overthinking this idea. Clearly I must think of the most mundane thing possible, film that, and let the cash monies flow! 

Here are some ideas I’ve had thus far: 

The Cat channel. I could follow our kitty around and film her just being herself. Wasn’t the internet invented for cat videos? 

The dishwashing channel: I could film myself washing dishes in the sink while providing commentary on my preferred brands of sponges. 

The bingewatching channel: Fans could tune in to watch me watching Netflix all day. Perhaps I could do some product placement deals with various snack and drink companies. Like I could strategically place a Dr. Pepper in the cupholder juuuuuuuuuust right so it would be on prominent display while I watch Unsolved Mysteries for ten straight hours. 

The road rage channel: The camera will be set up in my car and people could watch me get angry at other drivers for having the nerve to be on the road the same time as me. 

Anyhoo, I’ll stop there. Yes, I’m fully aware that all these ideas are really dumb. Which means they’re probably worth big money and I should stop just giving them away. 

Do you have a favorite YouTube channel? Tell me about it in the comments. I’ll be back to read them in a minute. Right now I’ve gotta go film my cat.