Toilet brushes and time travel

Many years ago, I watched a segment on “Unsolved Mysteries” about a phenomenon called missing time. Basically, there are people who claim that chunks of time — minutes, hours, sometimes even longer — just disappeared from their lives. And they have no reason to believe they had blacked out, nor were they under the influence of any drugs. The time just vanished. From what I remember, aliens and UFOs were suspected to be the cause of this phenomenon.

“That’s crazy,” I thought.

But friends, I am here today to tell you that I recently had a harrowing experience with missing time. And no, I wasn’t smoking anything. However, I do NOT believe that aliens are behind this experience. Nor do I blame any secret government organizations, or the Illuminati, or any other conspiracy-theory mumbo jumbo.

No, I can sum up who is responsible for missing time in one word: Costco.

The other day I had a full day of errands and appointments. They were spaced out in such a way that I really didn’t have time to go home in between them, but I didn’t have time to do much else either. One such appointment was having lunch with a friend. Said lunch spot happened to be near a Costco.

“I’ll pop in there and browse for a bit,” I said to myself. “It shouldn’t take too long.”

I remember I went in with the intention of looking at storage containers for a basement reorganization project. I know I at least made it to the aisle. But then the next thing I knew, I looked at my watch and HOLY CRAP I WAS LATE FOR MY NEXT APPOINTMENT! So I had to run to the check out with my toilet brush combo pack so I could buy them and get on the road.

And now I’m wondering how I wound up buying toilet brush packs when I went in to look at storage containers.

Now that I’m thinking about it, I also vaguely recall pricing out a 12 seat sectional couch, a kitchen table, and a set of bunk beds. I don’t know why I would look at any of those things. I already have a couch and kitchen table, and The Husband and I certainly don’t need a set of bunk beds. But there I was, making notes of the prices.

I don’t know how I had time to do any of that, though, because I swear I was only there for a minute. I know the clock says otherwise, but it feels like it was just one minute.

Maybe there are aliens involved in this missing time thing after all. I mean, I don’t know why else I would feel compelled to look at a bunch of stuff I don’t need. Maybe the alien community decided that the whole kidnapping people out of their beds and doing butt probes thing really wasn’t working for them anymore, so they needed a new strategy of how to study earth life. If nothing else, mind controlling a bunch of humans to run around a giant store looking at nonsense has got to be more entertaining than probing butts.

Anyone else have a missing time experience like mine? I’d like to think I’m not the only one. Tell me your story in the comments. I’ll read about them when I get back. I’ve gotta run to Costco for just one thing. I should be back in ten hours.