Who needs valium when you’ve got Christmas trees

Anyone know of any place still selling Christmas trees? Because I am seriously considering getting one to sedate my cat.

Ever since we took down our tree shortly after New Year’s, The Cat has not let us forget how disappointed she is in our decision. She wakes us up early in the morning, frantically meowing, and rushes downstairs to show us the spot where the tree once stood. Once we’re up and moving, she promptly goes back to sleep for the day so she can have the energy to keep us up at night.

I can’t even tell you the last time I slept through the night, y’all.

Many of you might be surprised to hear about The Cat’s relationship to the tree. I know every year when we go to put it up, people give us a hard time about how awful it must be to have a cat around a Christmas tree. They predict she’ll try to climb it and knock it down. And I remind them that I know she won’t do that, because 1) she’s never done it before and 2) if she knocked it down, it would destroy the shrine to her greatness.

Yes, according to our cat, the sole purpose of putting up a Christmas tree is for her to sit under it and bask in its multi colored glow. She will sit under the tree FOR HOURS, calm as can be. She will take short breaks to drink from the tree water dish and use the litter box. But then she will be right back under the tree soaking it all up.

So in the interest of keeping the peace, letting me sleep through the night, and restoring my cat’s sanity, I think I need to get another tree.

I’ve heard of people keeping up their trees all year round but changing the decor for different holidays. The first couple months I think I could do. February could be a Valentine’s Day tree. March could be a Saint Patrick’s Day tree. But then I start running out of ideas. I know there are a lot of random holidays out there. Maybe I should just consult the random holidays calendar for inspiration. Or I could just tape a banana to it and say it’s art. Because that’s a thing now.

What do y’all think? Would a year round tree help calm my cat? (The Cat who is currently climbing all over me while I write this post.) Any holiday trees you’d like to see? Tell me about it in the comments. See you next week!