Of Writer’s Block And Wild Horses

Full disclosure…I really have no idea what I’m going to write this week.

I’ve had a bunch of amazing ideas bouncing around in my head, but then whenever I’d try to turn one of them into a blog post, one of two things happened:

  1. I forgot them.
  2. I couldn’t quite flesh them out.
  3. I realized they weren’t actually that amazing.
  4. Wait, that’s more than two things, isn’t it?
  5. Apparently I’ve also forgotten how to count.

Yes, my friends, writer’s block has struck me hard. I can’t quite seem to get my act together.

I can’t entirely blame writer’s block for my blogging stumbles this week. It has been stressful times the last few weeks, and I’ve been distracted from creative writing, as my mental energy has been needed to Make Important Decisions.

So what *has* been in my head as I put creativity on the back burner? What does my brain see when it tries to Make Important Decisions?

It sees visions of stampeding wild horses.

Yes, I’m going to explain said vision.

Correct me if I’m wrong, but this is how I imagine a normal brain works.

Step One: A challenge presents itself.

Step Two: You have an emotional reaction to said challenge.

Step Three: You move away from the emotional reaction and start to have a logical reaction to the challenge.

Step Four: Using the logical information, you formulate a reasonable response and make a plan.

Step Five: You execute the plan calmly and rationally.

Step Six: The problem is solved.

Step Seven: Your mind is now free to return to its regularly scheduled programming which I imagine involves calmly and rationally moving through the day. I also imagine these normal brain people think responsible grown up thoughts about things like counting calories, building their 401K, and attending board meetings for their charity, the Poindexter Society, a 501(c)3 organization devoted to supplying pocket protectors to underprivileged children to help them become interested in STEM fields.

As I’m sure you’ve guessed, those are NOT the kinds of thoughts I have in my day-to-day life. I am more concerned with wondering if I can find a loophole in my diet plan to allow me to have more Dr. Pepper and saving money for basement renovations which involve creating a private space for binge watching Netflix.

And as you’ve also guessed, my brain does not follow the aforementioned steps. Allow me to explain my process:

Step One: A challenge presents itself.

Step Two: I have an emotional reaction to said challenge.

Step Three: I deal with the emotional reaction by drowning my sorrows in Dr. Pepper and binge watching TV (usually while consuming some chocolate).

Step Four: I have an emotional reaction (usually frustration and/or self-loathing) in response to my earlier handling of the emotional reaction.

Step Five: I have a COMPLETELY DIFFERENT emotional reaction to the original challenge, which may or may not set off another round of coping with carbonation and Netflix.

Step Six: The logical part of my brain attempts to step in and assert control.

Step Seven: The emotional part of my brain tells the logical side to buzz off.

Step Eight: The logical side tells my emotional side to shut it.

Step Nine: The emotional side dope slaps the logical side in the face and continues emoting like crazy.

Step Ten: The emotional side, fueled by several different competing and often contradictory feelings, starts imagining every possible scenario that could play out in response to the original challenge.

Step Eleven: My mind gets carried like a — wait for it — stampeding herd of wild horses.

Step Twelve: After recovering from the painful dope slap, the logical part of my brain dusts itself off and once again tries to take over. It manages to hitch a small chariot onto the herd of wild horses and climbs aboard, desperately trying to rein the herd in. “Whoa, whoa!” it shouts, being dragged along furiously by the thundering herd of emotional stallions.

Step Thirteen: Another part of the emotional side of my brain also climbs into the chariot alongside the logical part and eggs the horses on. “Giddyup, wild horses!” it shouts. “Run all over the place with your crazy thoughts!”

Step Fourteen: After a while, both sides get tired and demand a break (which usually means watching TV and drinking Dr. Pepper).

Step Fifteen: They resume duking it out on the chariot.

Eventually, the logical part of the brain manages to get SOME word in. Sometimes it can take complete control and allow me to formulate a plan and respond to the challenge. Sometimes, though, its words of reason will set off YET ANOTHER emotional reaction. And then the wild horses are off to the races again.

The good news is that The Husband and I have made good progress on Making Important Decisions. So our lives should be calming down soon, which (I hope) will mean a return of The Muse. Hopefully it will also mean a break from managing the wild horses. One way or the other, I promise I’ll get to work writing more random quirky goodness for all y’all to enjoy. Because I like doing that.

But first, I need a Netflix break.